Open My Eyes
by Precisely-My-Point
Summary: Oneshot: You thumped your chest twice, "I'm your Prince Santana, so you're my Princess Brittany and I'll always protect you." Warning: Implied Character Death


Title: Open My Eyes

Author: Deepest_Impact (LJ) / Precisely-My-Point (FF)

Pairing: Brittany/Santana

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. The title is one line from the song 'Just A Dream' by Nelly.

Word Count: 3,572

Warning: Implied Character Death

Summary: _You thumped your chest twice, "I'm your Prince Santana, so your my Princess Brittany and I'll always protect you." _

* * *

We were eight years old and you had come over to have a sleepover at my house. We had just watched a marathon of Disney movies and were captivated by the beautiful bright dresses, the idea of a knight in shining armour and the delightful, magical happily ever after. I put on one of my long flowing dresses and even took the lipstick from my mother's make up box. You did your part by wrapping herself with tinfoil from the kitchen as your armour and drew a moustache on with my mother's eyeliner. I was lying on top of my bed, pretending to be a damsel in distress, stuck in a lonely castle where the floor around the bed was the moat and Mr Quacks had evolved into a super evil and scary fire-breathing Quackasaurus who sat on the foot of my bed, preventing anyone to rescue me. It was relatively late for us – about half seven – and out of my windows was pitch black apart from the rain pelting on to the glass, trying to get inside. We ignored it as you continued to travel across miles of deserts and then snow and blizzards to reach me. You grabbed a ruler – your sword- off the table and fought bravely with the evil and scary fire-breathing dragon. As I was cheering you on, a flash of blinding light caught my attention from outside and then there it was – a loud, cruel rumble roared its way closer and penetrated the brick walls easily into our world. Before I knew it, I was underneath the bed, both hands pressed tightly against my ears with tears beginning to spill over._"What are you doing down there Princess Brittany?"_ Peeking out of one eye, I saw how you were laying flat on your stomach facing me with your hands holding your head up curiously.

_"I'm scared,"_ The tears fell even quicker as another deafening thunder rolled over. At the sound of my whimpering, you frowned.

_"Well don't be silly, I just slew that evil and scary fire-breathing Quackasaurus of yours and you're free to be with me now."_ I shook my head.

_"It's the thunder that's scaring me,"_ your frown deepened even more.

_"And how am I supposed to slay that?"_ You thought some more before lifting yourself up on your knees and came closer, pushing me towards the side more.

_"What are you doing?"_ When there was enough room, you dragged the duvet from on the top of the bed and pushed it towards me before sliding yourself in to be next to me.

_"Well if I can't get rid of the thunder, I'll just have to join you down there to look after you."_ You had shuffled closer and made sure the duvet was securely over me before you threw a bit over yourself too.

_"Aren't you scared?"_ You laughed.

_"I'm not scared of anything," _you thumped your chest twice,_ "I'm your Prince Santana, so your my Princess Brittany and I'll always protect you." _My eyes widened.

_"Really? You mean that, as in forever?" _You nodded before grinning at me, revealing that gap in your teeth where your first baby tooth had fallen out two weeks ago.

_"Forever and ever and we'll live happily ever after." _You held out her pinky and I held mine out too so we could link together and seal the promise.

_"Now sleep Princess Brittany, you're safe with me now."_ I looked around briefly.

_"Wait, I need Mr Quacks to sleep." Y_ou looked rather annoyed.

_"He can't, he's still the evil and scary fire-breathing Quackasaurus at the moment so you'll have to just do without him until he becomes good again." _I pouted.

_"I can't sleep without hugging him, you know that."_ You shrugged as you yawned loudly.

_"Just hug me instead. I'm too tired to go get him for you."_ And I did as you told me to. You flipped over to face away from me whilst I latched onto her back, finding comfort in your even breathing.

Half an hour later, my mother had come up to check on us. The storm was still active outside but I continued to sleep on peacefully, underneath the bed with my wonderful and charming prince sleeping in my arms.

* * *

We were thirteen years old and we were at your house for a sleep over. In your basement, we watched _Mean Girls_ yet again, sitting on one side of each on the sofa so legs met in the middle which was where the bowl of popcorn always rested.

_"Nice wig Janis, what's it made out of?"_ We both learnt forward, prepared to reply in time with the film.

_"Your mum's chest hair!"_ Whilst laughing, you had lifted a hand for a high-five. I reached forward but as soon as my hand came into contact with yours, another booming clap followed our one way above us. My reaction was immediate – I flung the bowl of popcorn all over the floor from jerking up right with both hands over my ears. You were so quick to bound on to your feet, forcing my hands away from the side of head to wrap them around your waist. I had clung onto you for dear life as you placed one hand in my hair whilst the other stroked my back soothingly.

_"Shh, it's okay Britt. Calm down,"_ My arms tightened around you even more, I never knew if I had hurt you or not because you refused to make a single noise apart from the murmurs of comfort. After a few minutes and a few more thunders later, you had slowly brought us back down onto the sofa, not caring if we crushed the stray popcorn all over the place. My head was burrowed in the crook of your neck as you continued your calming actions.

_"Brittany, this really needs to stop." _I can remember how my head abruptly flew off of your shoulder.

_"Please don't leave me."_ You had given me a weird look.

_"What? I'm not going anywhere. I meant as in this fear of thunderstorms, really need to go."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because you know," _later I would come to realise that your eyes were flickering that night because you were trying to come up with something believable, _"thunderstorms can be a lot of fun."_ I had narrowed my eyes at you.

_"No they're not, they're really loud and frightening."_

_"Trust me, they really are. I want to show you something," _you had grabbed one of my hands from around your waist and squeezed it tightly, _"but you have to trust me okay?"_

_"I trust you."_ You nodded so confidently and yanked me upright. With one hand, you had pulled me by my wrist, up from the basement and it wasn't you were unlocking the front door did I realise what your plan was. I tugged my wrist to no avail, your clasp on me was too strong.

_"No Santana, I'm not going out there. Anything but that," _with a hand on me and the other on the door handle you twisted to face me.

_"Believe in me Brittany, I promise you, I'll be with you and it'll be fun."_ I can still remember how I really didn't want to, yet I nodded still as I believed you so willingly. You immediately pushed on the door hand and pulled the door open and brought me out into the rain with you.

What happened outside is something that I couldn't recall properly for a while. I couldn't remember seeing the flashes of light above us but I did see your beautiful smile whilst you twirled us around in your front garden. I couldn't remember how drenched and frozen we were from the unrelenting rain yet I could still hear how you had laughed and got us dancing, as if the thunder was our backing music. But for a long while, all I could and still do know is how you stepped closer and pressed your lips against mine. After that night, I began to love thunderstorms.

* * *

Everything wasn't perfect after that – you didn't confess your undying love to me and we weren't together. In fact you had told me we were just practising and less than three months later, you lost your virginity to Puck. Life wasn't perfect to me, but you were. I didn't mind that the only way you could be with me was sneaking around the back of the current guy of the week. As long as I had you, and I knew that I was the most important thing to you (not that you'll ever really tell me but I knew) I was content. Until that one day after school.

That night still haunts me, you know. We didn't really have an argument; we were just not talking to each other. You really have no idea how much I prayed after that I could just take the words back from that day in my bedroom. I don't care about Melissa Etheridge, I don't care about Breadsticks or their ridiculously delicious free refill sticks. I care about you. But obviously I didn't care enough. I knew you had panicked in the spur of the moment. I knew as soon as you walked out of my front door, you wanted to come back. But I didn't let you. In fact I had re-opened the door just so I could slam it shut and lock you out. As if I could ever lock you out of my heart but I was angry and hurt too, you know?

It was three days later exactly before you caved in, swallowed your pride and apparently went out to buy me my favourite flowers – lilies. It was pouring that evening, right after school finished. You had headed straight to the florists right away, but by the time you brought them you were caught in the rush-hour where everyone was eager to return home – just like you were. And you know what I was doing whilst you were soaked and frustrated from waiting in that everlasting traffic jam just so you could see me smile again? I was fucking Artie. I wish I could say it was because I wanted to help him get over Tina or that it was for some superficial greater cause. But the truth is I did it to spite you. Finally, I had grown sick of you jumping between Puck and me and all those jocks and back to me, it was so suffocating. You'd go on and on about only having sex with the footballers to maintain the hierarchy and I wanted to rebel against you, so I had sex with the person who was most opposite you in every way possible. You know, I think if you had made it to my house, you would have caught us in my bed. Who knows what that catalyst would have caused – maybe you'd finally realise that I wasn't worthy to hear your precious laughs or feel your touch igniting my skin. But who knows, because you didn't make it in time. In fact, you didn't make it at all. A van heading the opposite way had slid in the rain and crashed through a small part of the queue – your part.

Your funeral was twelve days later and I never cried in those twelve days. In fact, I never cried after that either for the weeks, then months and now years later. Not a single drop of tear has been spilt from my eyes. Neither has a single real smile graced my lips nor did another naïve comment come out of them. Because when you had gone, you ripped away my naivety, my innocence and everything else that made me Brittany away with you. The daze in my looks fell away as my sapphire eyes were drained to nothing but a murky grey blue colour. I couldn't dance Santana. Apart from you, dancing was all I had, but I couldn't even do that anymore. My movements were frigid and static, I couldn't even move to the correct beat anymore. Despite all this, you wouldn't believe the rate that I matured – it felt like I was jumping from a teenager straight to an old widow.

Graduation was a month ago and I'm leaving now. I can't bear to stay here for a second more. You have no idea how painful it is to walk past the swings in that park we used to hang out in the summer. I can't even say the words 'Breadsticks' out loud and don't even make me think about how every single day, I was forced (by my parents, by the glee kids, by myself even) to get up and face another day at school without you leading the way with our pinkies intertwined. I just can't. Without you, I am nothing San. But at least by finally leaving I can be nothing without the people we used to know pitying me behind my back. I can be useless and pathetic without every single object in this damn town haunting me with memories of us.

And you want to know something? I have a new obsession – no it's not drugs or alcohol or anything like that. It's the weather forecast. I constantly have to know what the weather is like outside or what it's going to be like. Nobody knows, but I'll let you in on the secret. I'm listening out for when there'll be a thunderstorm. Ever since that day when we were thirteen, I came to embrace and love them because every thunderstorm brought you to me. I had grown to adore how the vibrations of the thunder would rumble into my chest and how the flashes of lightning allowed me to see your pretty face even when drenched in rain. But since you're gone, I've gone back to the little girl I was. I make sure that as every thunderstorm hits, I'll be hiding underneath the bed, blasting music as loud as I can to cover up the noise outside and the noise I make as I cry myself to sleep. I miss you so much Santana.

* * *

The car behind me beeped their horn excessively. I roll my eyes and glare at the middle-aged man who was driving through the rear mirror. Could he not see how there was a car in front of me and a car in front of them in this congestion which went on and on even over this hill?

Ignoring the annoying driver, I began to tap the steering wheel out of time to the song on the radio. The dark sky is overcrowded with gloomy grey clouds which I don't like the look of, so I changed my line of sight to the fields of lush cut grass on the other side of the flimsy wooden fence. I had passed the sign that read 'you are now leaving Lima' about an hour ago, which meant I still have over seven hours until I reach New York City, but at this rate I'm definitely not going to make it in anywhere near that time.

It wasn't for another half an hour and having moved about one car space, did the first drop of rain was too heavy and rushed down to collide with the hot metal of my car bonnet. After that, more and more rain cascaded down to join their fellow water comrades until now, it was pouring so much I had to set the windscreen wipers faster. It's not bothering me too much, but the rain is bugging me just enough to set my teeth on edge and sit a little straighter in my seat. I feel a little nauseous as I remember that I didn't have time to check the forecast before I left the house. This week was so sunny and hot; I was fooled into thinking the weather would hold out until after I left at least, but apparently not. Just as I reach to turn the radio louder, I was blinded by a burst of light filling the entire sky of clouds before that ever-present roar erupted. I scream but no one in the neighbouring cars heard me. My knuckles are turning white from the vice like grip I have on the steering wheel. I break out in sweat as I try to prepare myself for another spark and another boom to strike. I move one hand to cover my mouth as it does hit to soften my piercing shriek. I can no longer tell if it is the rain outside that is blurring my vision or the tears in my eyes that are preventing me to see clearly. As another crack split the air, I readjusted so my feet were on the seat and my arms were wrapping my knees closer towards myself. _If only you were here then you would protect me,_ I thought as I rocked myself slowly back and forth,_ you wouldn't let me be so pathetic. You would take my hand and make me embrace the storm and dance to it._ A flare of anger arose deep in my chest. _Why aren't you here?_

When the next thunder hit, I wasn't scared anymore – I was absolutely furious. I flung the door open and too irritated and enraged to even slam it shut. The annoying man beeped at me again for getting out of the car but I ignored him once more as I vaulted over the fence and instantly ruined my shoes and covered the bottom of jeans with soppy mud. Not caring, I ran further into the field and faced the sky, unbothered by how the grey clouds spat on me.

"You said you'd never leave me!" I screamed, blinking away the rain. "You promised me that you'll protect me forever! What happened to that?" I kicked up the mud and grass underneath me, the need to wreck something was overpowering. "How could you? How could you leave me here alone!" I paused to laugh bitterly. "Look at what I've become – look at how useless and pathetic I've become! Because of you Santana!"

There was a flash of lightning in the corner of my eye and a crash followed, as if the sky – as if you – were replying. I sank to my knees, head bent with my eyes shut tightly to try to stop the tears from flowing so freely.

"I don't know what I am anymore, San. I'm just this empty sell without you." I flop back onto my back, my arms spread and my legs outstretched, allowing the rain to mix with my tears and the mud to ruin my clothes. "Where are you when I need you?"

The droplets of water continue to caress my face, when I close my eyes I could almost pretend they were your hands softly tracing the curves of my face. I pretended the weight of my damp, heavy clothes was the weight of you when you used to lie on top of me. All the noise of the cars and their engines faded away as I tried desperately to create this feeling that you were right here with me, that you were always right with me and that the thunderstorms were only your way of wanting to see my smile and hear my laugh, and just witness how I would dance my way through life as I always had when you were by my side. I reopened my eyes with a gentile smile on my lips, fully expecting to see you, only to plummet back to the present where I'm alone and cold in this field with nothing but a sky of grey over me.

Suddenly, the sky flares up vividly again, wiping my vision of anything but white. The roar of thunder deafens me, cleansing my ears to nothing but a soft ringing. And it was right there – that split second I saw you. I saw your eyes burn with happiness and hope; I saw how your lips curled into a smile before forming two syllables. Behind the ringing I could hear your voice – just like how it used to be towards me, gentle and soft – saying those two syllables: _Brittany._

I jerked upright, but you disappeared as rapidly as you had emerged. The brief flash couldn't have lasted for even half a second but it was enough. I slowly stood up, allowing the tears to fall easily as I laughed. The sound and ability to do so was almost foreign to me, but the image of you and the echo of your voice were burned into my mind and I could do nothing but laugh and smile and open my arms to swivel and twirl to the memory of the sound of your voice. It was there in the middle of that field an hour away from Lima with nothing but mud and crushed grass underneath my ruined shoes and clothes and nothing but the sky lined with a cloud of grey above me that I finally realise: You had never left at all. Because when you died, so did I. It is only as I dance myself back awake, that you too come back to life through me. And as I continue to live my life to the maximum, and smile, laugh and love every day; it would be like you never left at all.

* * *

Hope that was okay, thanks for reading! Reviews would be awesome.


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